Category: Let's talk
Hi! What experiences with sighted people did you make? Sorry if I annoy you with questions like this but I'm just wondering. For example, I was at a cure where there were a lot of teenagers, that was about 4 years ago. I was the only blind girl there, they were all sighted. They asked me questios about my life, I had to write the braille alphabet and they tried to walk with closed eyes. Some people would say they'd be annoyed of people asking questions but I liked answering them and let them imagine how I deal with my life. They could hardly believe it that I could walk very fast, get my food myself and get around at the house on my own.
What experiences have you made with sighted people? do you have sighted friends? Tell me about it!
Ya I don't mind answering questions either. I think it's cool when sighties wanna know about blindies, and thus, vice versa is okay too. Heh. I like topics like these just fine...
I'm always answering people's questions, I don't mind and I'd rather they ask then just assume stuff. I have pretty balanceed groups of blind and sighted friends. Sometimes people are afraid to let me do things because they think I'll get hurt but usually I'm more willing to do stuff than a lot of my sighted friends, which I find amusing.
Hi inesle, I like topics like these, because I can get right in them. Well, I don't mind answering questions, so long as they're the right questions, and not really dumb questions, or those questions people ask when they're trying to make you look stupid, or when they think you are stupid. I don't have friends in life, not really, but I'm fine with it. I have another disability other than blindness, my osteogenesis imperfecta, and from my perspective, if you have more than one disability, you have that much less in common with people. If I'd been born blind and without the osteogenesis thing, I would've had the things in common that other blind people have. If I'd been born sighted, but with the osteogenesis, I'd have all the things sighted people have in common. I told of this experience in the safe haven board, under mean blind jokes, but maybe the ones who don't come to safe haven missed it, but I'd better create another post before I get timed out.
I was at a camp for kids and teens with disabilities once, not a camp for the blind, but a camp for any disabilities. There was this 17 year old volunteer counselor, and she kept asking me where I thought she was, and I said, you're behind me. She said, how do you know I'm behind you? I told her I could tell by her voice. She kept wanting to know how I know for sure, so I reached behind me, and touched her hand. She said, how did you know I wasn't a ventriloquist? I told her, that if she were a ventriloquist, she would be performing in a nightclub somewhere, and she wouldn't be there, because she wasn't there to help people. She was totally silent for about a minute, then she said, I just thought it was funny, that's all. I said, well I didn't. I've mostly made friends on the computer, and I've talked to both blind and sighted people, some are very good with us, some aren't.
wonderwoman
Just an observation (I can't really offer any personal experiences since I'm not blind, but I do have a bunch of friends and work with lots of people who are blind): It seems to me that a lot of human interaction is based on the asking and answer of questions, and generally I can relate to that because well, the only thing that I find really interesting in the world is other people's lives, concerns, sufferings, and joys. But it seems ot me that in the case of blind people (and perhaps everyone else with any characteristic that is different and unknown) face *a lot* of much too personal questions. It seems that if you're blind, people just assume that they can ask you questions of a level of intimacy that they would never ask just any random stranger in the street. I've heard people being asked by perfect strangers how and when they lost their sight, and things like that. Personally, that struck me as inapproriate. It's a bit like asking someone you don't know how they felt when their parents divorced, or how their cousins anorexia is coming along, or whether they ever have nightmares. There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking about these things among friends who have built up some kind of relationship, and there isn't even anything wrong with talking about this among strangers if the conversation is reciprocal. But it just seems to me that you can't walk into someone's life and demand personal information from them, particularly if you don't know how this person might feel about sharing this information. Some information has to be 'earned', so to speak. Don't get me wrong, I don't personally have a problem with talking about pretty much anything, but it's intrusive to just *expect* people to tell you anything you might want to know to satisfy your own curiosity.
It's true: The questions they ask should not be rude questios. But I would let sighted people kow if they were rude.
That's ok you ask away...I have given talks about my condition and its effects to secondry school children who have never been within 5 feet of blind person, let alone 1 who's a goth,smile.
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So their reaction as I wandered around unassisted was 1 of surprise and disbelief! They obviously expected my carer to make these important decisions,what gripped me most was how they tried to understand seeing nothing,the concept of a blank world was and still is, totally alien they had assumed I see only black. I've done this 3 times now the 1st was in school when I was being bullied due to my condition I supplied the information,the dark glasses and long canes, and let the numpties go with the flow...
I think a lot of my friendships really started with a person coming up to me and asking a question. Therefore I totally agree with asking and answering questions, Lord knows i ask enough myself, as you all know. I'm curious about lots of htings, and so naturally I think people woudl be curious about blindies too. Like Thrillseeker, I'd much rather explain somethign I've explained a hudnred times, than have someone just jump to a conclusion on their own.
I think it's only natural that people wonder how people who are different cope with certain situations. After all, a sighted person reads a book .. it's only natural that they'd wonder how a blind person can do the same but without being able to see the letters? Also I can't imagine none of us have ever wondered about other disabilities? how someone with no arms for example, manages to do things with their feet? or their mouth? And if you wonder these things, the natural progression from that is to ask. So many people ask me for example, how I manage to cope with a 2 year old, how he doesn't constantly have accidents and break things before I can stop him from doing so .. and yet he broke his first bowl at the weekend, not while I was looking after him, but while my mother, who is perfectly sighted was "supposed" to be watching him.
That's true actually, I wondered about other disabilities before. But I always remember the reaction of a grown-up sighted person (my mum told me about that) who met my mother on the streets when I awa baby and lay in a buggy. I kept on looking to the ground because - what's the use of looking around when you don't see anything? The woman who met us didn't know I was blind and asked my mum: "Aww, is she tired?" Children realize it immediately I heard. They look at you, and then they wonder why you don't look back at them, while a grown-up person could sit next to me for hours and doesn't realize that I'm blind, because my eyes look all right. That's interesting I think.
I would rather have the questions as well, and if someone gets to personal I simply ask a semularly personal question in return. It seems to work. If they answer it I may consider answering their's, and if they don't, they don't get an answer at all. Also, about the 2 year old. I can totally understand. I'm not a mother, but I've done babysitting/daycare since I was 10, and I love it. I long to be a mother after all. But on the other hand right now I'm facing an issue with the state I live in. A friend gets her daycare paid for by the state, and requested that I be her daycare provider. The state is expecting so much extra from me in the application process just because I'm blind then they would from any sighted person...I hate it, and it is greatly offending. I know by law they can't ask for these things, after all I have foughten this battle before, but... As far as my relationship with sighted people...I was raised with little to almost no interaction with blind people, so, generally I'm more comfortable with the sighted. It has only been in the last couple years that I've learned to be a lot more comfortable with the blind. I still do things the sighted way, and very rarely does anyone realize I'm blind even though my eyes don't look "normal"
Hey, that's a good idea, the thing with the personal question. I might try it out, thanks! I never had really personal questions about my disability really, only once but that was from a relative so I answered it.
My experiences of sighted people vary as do the sizes of shoes in a shop which sells them. Some patronise me and think I can't do some things which is great because it means I don't have to do anything and I can just chill, and they think blind people should be seated when there's no seats on buses so I don't have to stand around. Those my age who know me treat me normally. Some are curious but I don't mind informing them. Some like to take the piss until they know what's coming their way if they continue. People who ask questions or give me help I don't need don't annoy me because they'r not harming me and they feel good about themselves. People who get worked up about these things care too deeply for their disability. I can't stand those who think that as a blind person I have a duty to all blind people to give them a good reputation. I don't! I'm an individual who just happens to be blind, and those who are passionate about their disability just get on my nerves.
You may see it that way, but the rest of the world doesn't...
And how does the rest of the world see it.
I agree with Wangel on one point but disagree on another. Despite what most people think, I feel that I represent only myself. It's quite a load on one's shoulders to have to protect the reputation of every last blind personfor sure, and I just don't think I can do that. However, I don't agree with the bit about accepting unsolicitted help to make other people feel good about themselves. No, I'm no superblink, but I think just being a passive doormatt like that for the sake of the ego of some random stranger just isn't right to me. Yes, I'm not being harmed, but it's mighty disrupting when I'm expecting to just go on my way and not be bothered by some do-gooder who's only doing good to feel important and not because they really want to do good. That's just self-serving to me.